What is couples therapy and how can it help?
How can sitting in a room talking to a stranger help me and my partner? All we do nowadays is have a go at one another, interspersed with bouts of long silence – what we need is a referee, (someone who will agree that I’m in the right and he/she is in the wrong!)
If you relate to any of the above, then you’re not the only one. However, your relationship may be in seriously bad shape, and you might end up with a judge acting as a referee! It is heart-breaking to see so many couples end up facing divorce in the courts, without first having sought a consultation with a couples therapist.
Sadly, there is a lot of bad press when it comes to therapy in general, and couples therapy in particular. Many people are uncomfortable in sharing what they view as private in front of a therapist. It’s sometimes easier to believe that the husband or wife is at fault and has become mad or bad. That black and white viewpoint is called ‘splitting’ and may indicate that you are putting your need to be ‘right’ before your need to be ‘in relationship’. You may be heading for a divorce, in which case mediation may help.
If however you are willing to see that it’s not all his/her fault and that you play a part, then couples therapy might help. Relationships are complex and what goes wrong can often be addressed and put right. However, not all couples therapy is the same… so take care in choosing.
Sometimes couples simply need a space to say out loud what they feel is going wrong. Getting things off their chest may help, but often they need more than that.
At Relationship Services we have developed a more structured, interventionist approach, based on first carrying out an assessment and identifying the issues that are causing the problems. These issues are carefully explained before deciding on a way forward that meets your needs and expectations.
By having access to a number of therapists who know how to work together as a team, it is possible for each partner to get the individual help they need, as well as being seen together for assistance with the relationship. This FLEXIBILITY, together with the ASSESSMENT and STRUCTURED approach make the Relationship Services approach distinct and effective.